John D. Pierce

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"Raised Too Baptist"




You were probably raised too Baptist, IF…

1. You thought “peacethatpassesunderstanding” was one word.

2. You missed more episodes of “Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color” than you saw because of Sunday night church services.

3. You thought the tablets Moses brought down from the mountain were written in the King’s English and primarily opposed dancing, drinking, shooting pool and playing games with “face cards.”

4. You never asked your parents, “Are we going to church this Sunday?” You just knew.

5. Every technological advancement was suspected of being the “Mark of the Beast.”

6. Saturday nights involved shoe polish and Sunday school lessons.

7. Gluttony seemed to vanish from the list of sins while most other vices were amplified.

8. You got in trouble as a youth for adding the phrase “…between the sheets” to hymn titles and giggling about it during a boring sermon.

9. You’ve sung all the verses to “Just As I Am” more than once during a single, protracted invitation time.

10. You feel both punished by and thankful for growing up in such a way — and enjoy thinking and laughing about it.

[Posted as a blog on July 22, 2010 and published in the September issue of Baptists Today.]